Dear Dawson,

I’ve heard nothing but good things about Abolish the Crate Federation, I know 2 PLABS (Pitt bull/Labs) who fully support it and the Black Panther Organization. In fact, they could probably give you a few good tips about vandalism. The only issue I would ask you to reconsider is the Border Collie exception; I know one who’s lazy as hell, so let’s not discriminate just yet. Border Collies should be evaluated on an individual basis.

I realize my reputation precedes me, they don’t call me the Energizer Bunny for nothing. That being said, I’m not a spring chicken anymore. This getting old isn’t for the faint of heart my friend, your brother Tucker knew me at my prime. However, I will give you a free tug session mostly to see if you can measure up to your brother Tucker, not an easy task, so I would get in shape if I were you and put on some pounds. That extra weight is advantageous when body-slamming humans.

I’m hoping to make time for you on Monday evening, I’ll wear appropriate clothing so you won’t have to worry about taking it easy on me. If your stamina proves to be too much for me, I’ll hand you off to your mother who appears to have a lot of time in her hands. Between you and I we should be able to persuade her to tug a little with you.
Later dude.



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