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Jones’ strange and puzzling puppy predilections

by | Oct 11, 2023

a golden retriever puppy wearing a blue collar with a red leash dragging behind him attempts - and fails - to climb up a playground slide

Dear Friends, Family, Fans and Abolish the Crate Federation Members,

The interest in Jones’ progress toward becoming a very good boy has been quite surprising. First, let me say that I am most appreciative of the emails and texts of support from all of you. I have a special shout out for the Montana field goldens who took pity on me and hosted a fund raiser so they could send me several tennis balls and a bone in a show of moral support. I am touched beyond barks.

So, I decided that I would share my thoughts about the things Jones does that I find both baffling and weird. I know youngsters can do strange things while they’re learning about the world. I understand that it can be tough to figure things out. However, when I pause to reflect on Jones, I vividly recall an incident when Jones tried to walk up a slide. It was a clue I missed, a sign of things to come.

Here are some of the things (but not all) that Jones does that puzzles me. I generally ask him what he’s thinking so I’ve included his explanations. Although, I’m not sure his explanations do him any favors.

  1. Jones loves to steal the cushion off the back of the couch. In fact, he gets so excited that Mom has to pull the cushion away from him. Immediately being crated doesn’t deter him, either. Jones agreed that the punishment fits the crime but that he simply cannot help himself.
  2. He steals pillows. From anywhere. Anytime.
  3. Jones starts peeing and if he sees something interesting, he continues peeing while walking toward said object. He says he is multitasking.
  4. He prefers to pee on anything outside that is man made even when a perfectly good tree or bush is nearby. Jones has no explanation for this except to say that, “It just feels right.”
  5. Jones is not particularly selective about his choice in sticks. He says he doesn’t discriminate and that includes sticks.
  6. He definitely has personal space issues. Jones frequently stands so close to me I can feel his breath. Sometimes, when he is standing so very close, Jones will whisper, “How you doing?” It is creepy.
  7. Jones is overly cautious when it is time to try new things. For example, we got new crates. I got right in and, honestly, I love the new crate. Not Jones. Even when Mom put treats in the new crate to make it more appealing to him, he just leaned in, ate the treats and quickly left the crate area. When I asked him why, when faced with new situations, he didn’t just jump right in, he explained that it is good to be vigilant since, “someone might be out to get me.” To which I responded, “Get you with treats?!” “It could happen,” Jones solemnly replied.

There you have it. Chapter and verse.

Dawson Earnest Huntley, LLGH
President & CEO
Abolish The Crate Federation