Abolish the Crate Federation Logo.

Dear Friends, Family, Fans and Abolish the Crate Federation Members,

Happy New Year!

It’s that time when everyone starts setting goals for the new year. I have several for myself and many for Jones who looked at me like my head just exploded when I told him. No surprise. Jones remains oblivious as to how his behavior impacts others.

You can’t help those who don’t want to be helped so I left Jones to go write my list of resolutions. I think I did a good job meeting last year’s resolutions but I feel like I can do even better. As many of you know, I don’t like to just squeak by when it comes to being successful. I like to do so well that there’s no doubt that I’m a winner.

Here are my goals for 2024:

  1. Love Mom even more than I do now.
  2. Increase cuddle time with Mom by 55%.
  3. Eat my meals slightly slower so as to enjoy my food.
  4. Practice going to my “happy place” so that when Jones annoys me, I can go there immediately. (Thank you, Dr. Bernstein!).
  5. Exercise daily.

I asked Jones if he was going to set any new year’s resolutions and he said no because he was busy trying to resolve a shipping issue for a substantial stick order to some beavers working on a huge dam near Niagara Falls. UPS did not deliver the sticks on time, and, according to tracking, the order is still on the brown truck. Work on the dam has come to a standstill. Jones is a little concerned because, in exchange for the sticks, the beavers said they would name the dam, “Jones Dam” and Jones thought that would be very cool. Now they are threatening to name it “Damn Jones Dam” if their order doesn’t arrive within 48 hours. Like I told Jones, you really don’t want to tick off beavers. They get nasty when they aren’t busy.

a honey colored goldent retriever sits in the grass and holds an impressive stick between his front paws. He looks directly at the camera with a proud head tilt

The holiday season hasn’t been entirely bad for Jones. He actually made Santa’s nice list! According to Dasher, it was a very close call. On one hand, Santa was impressed with the quality of Jones’ sticks but, on the other hand, Santa was concerned that Jones thought he could be bribed. Dasher said it was Christmas cheer that ultimately influenced Santa to put Jones on the nice list.

I told Jones what Dasher said and emphasized that he barely made it getting on the nice list. He didn’t seem bothered by this at all. Jones simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “A win is a win.”

I do wonder about that boy.

There you have it. Chapter and verse.

Dawson Earnest Huntley, LLGH
President & CEO
Abolish the Crate Federation

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