Dear Friends, Family, Fans and Abolish the Crate Federation Members,

Happy Holidays to all!!

It’s that time of year again, when Jones petitions Santa for “good boy status” so that he can be taken off Santa’s naughty list and put on Santa’s nice list so he can receive presents. Jones explained he has made a list of all the ways he is a good boy, in case Santa was too busy to notice. Now, I’ve been around him the entire year, and I’m not sure what good boy behavior he is referring to. Does Jones understand what it takes to be a good boy? I decided to ask him.

Jones: “I really think I’ve got it wrapped up with Santa agreeing that I’ve been a good boy this year!”

Dawson: “Jones, what do you think it takes to be a good boy?”

Jones: “Only peeing outside.”

Dawson: “Correct. But you’ve known this since you were a young puppy so I don’t think it counts.”

Jones: “Okay. Another good boy thing is not chewing Mom’s stuff.”

Dawson: “True. Again, you’ve never really had a problem with that so I’m not sure Santa will count it.”

Jones: “Okay, well, how about not stealing pillows?”

Dawson: “That’s a good one! You have improved with managing your impulse to steal pillows!”

Jones: “I’m working on not being such a picky eater and trusting that Mom is not going to poison me when she changes my food.”

Dawson: “Weird but okay.”

Jones: “Leaving Mom’s shoes alone.”

Dawson: “You still have a ways to go with that one. Just yesterday I saw Mom take a sneaker away from you!”

Jones: “True but at least I didn’t run away with it.”

Dawson: “I suspect that was because you didn’t expect Mom to come around the corner and see you.”

Jones: “Yes, that was a shocker.”

Dawson: “Can you think of other ways you’ve been a good boy?”

Jones: “I cannot but just to make sure I make Santa’s nice list, I have sent him a box of my best sticks!”

Dawson: “You’ve bribed Santa??!”

Jones: “I don’t believe in bribes. I do believe in quid pro quo, though.”

Dawson: “I think you just got back on the naughty list.”

Jones: “I really doubt it. Those are some seriously good sticks I sent Santa.”

There you have it. Chapter and verse.

Dawson Earnest Huntley, LLG
President & CEO
Abolish the Crate Federation


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